No Blogging. Ever.

When we got married, my wife Mary and I set down some ground rules. Just five simple guidelines to assure our unending happiness. They are as follows:

5)  At no time may Jonathan leave the house wearing tighter pants than Mary

4)  No doing things that might result in appearing on the local news; this includes witnessing crimes, winning the lottery, and living next door to serial-killers 1

3)  Should one of us die early, the other is only allowed to remarry on the condition that their new spouse is uglier

2)  Mary is allowed to have as many children as she wants on the condition that Jonathan may raise them like Mr. Von Trapp—whistle and all

1)  No blogging. Ever

As you can see, these rules are listed in order of importance. Tight pants can be changed out of, but once a guy starts blogging . . .

My reason for creating this page is twofold. First of all, I have a children’s book coming out this year and I wanted to create a place where I could post updates and event information. Second, and more importantly, I wanted to get my hands dirty! There are so many amazing children’s book blogs in the world, and I wanted to involve myself beyond the occasional anonymous comment . . .

This site will contain a lot of drawings–because I draw a lot of what I see. It will also have opinions. My wife has told me I have a unique love for developing “theories” about books, movies, art, and the world. Now, at last, I will have a place to put those theories. One that doesn’t interrupt my wife while she’s trying to write her dissertation. 2

So now it’s just you and me, dear reader. And before we get started, I thought it would be smart to lay down a few blogging ground rules. Just five simple guidelines to ensure our unending happiness. They are as follows:

5)  Jonathan will post relevant material at least four times a week, and the reader will excitedly eat up every blessed word

4)  Jonathan will never post pictures of adorable pets

3)  Jonathan will not post “content” pertaining to what he ate for lunch

2)  Jonathan will proofread his posts before hitting “upload,” and the reader will forgive him if a few typos slip through

1)  No all caps. EVER.

  1. credit for this rule goes to superlibrarian and Meredith Sommers
  2. which is on Victorian children’s literature. Hot.

11 Comments Leave a Comment

  • […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jonathan Auxier. Jonathan Auxier said: New at The Scop: No Blogging. Ever. […]

  • Mary Burke (Auxier!) says:

    I fear that letting this one rule slide will lead to tighter and tighter pants, but I’m glad you have a new venue for your many, many, many ideas.

  • I promise to always be excited to read your words. And to snicker when a typo slips through. ;)

  • Hi, Jonathan. Linked over from School Library Journal. Nice looking site. I, too, am a ‘struggling’ writer. I make my bread by teaching other kids how to become struggling writers. ;-)

  • Roboseyo says:

    Welcome to the blogosphere, sir. It’s a good place to vent ideas, or toss them out for feedback before fine-tuning them; if it’s anything like the blogs over here in Korea, on Korea-related topics, it’s a tough crowd… but iron sharpens iron, and (more germane to blog commenting) snark sharpens sarcasm.

    Happy bloggering.

    I see that photos of pets are verboten. What about photos of your food? Or is posting photos of food the socks and sandals of blogging?

  • Craig Chapman says:

    I’m looking forward to your eating up your words – both bound and bytes.

    I have to admit, as I was munching on my ham sandwhich today, I spyed my ADORABLE pet, and wanted to post his picture here – would that be allowed?

    Looking forward to future posts,


  • Craig Chapman says:

    … I’ll pretend the typo in the first line was intentional too.

  • The Scop says:

    […] previous post No comments […]

  • Rob, feel free to send along any blogging tips.

    Craig, there’s a TYPO in the first line? Where?!

  • Craig Chapman says:

    I was using typo to mean generic mistake in typed text. I’m not sure what the correct term is for inserting text (in this case, “eating up your” and forgetting to delete the preceding word that it was supposed to replace (in this case, “your”). Perhaps the term I’m looking for is missedeleteo?

  • Missedeleteo! I love it!

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